Require an important Miracle? Get rid of Ones own Comprehension.

Losing is painful. It doesn’t matter what – a job, a marketing, your wellbeing, a lover, a spouse – it’s painful. Sure, the pain is greater, the greater losing, but whenever we lose something, we feel it deeply.

A pal of mine, a trial lawyer by trade, recently lost a huge case. He’s not in the habit of losing trials, for him this is a most unusual experience. But what intrigued me was his attitude about it: “I could see where I made some mistakes. I know it’s hindsight and all that, but I seriously misjudged the way the jurors would look at certain facts. I can’t wait for my next trial – I involve some thoughts on what I really could did differently, and I want to observe how they’ll play out.”

His can be an optimist’s attitude. A miracle-making attitude. One which practically guarantees success. Oh, maybe don’t assume all time, but more frequently than not a course in miracles. It’s well established that optimists succeed beyond their actual aptitude and talents – all for their attitude.

Many lawyers, in his position, would have expended their efforts laying blame somewhere: on opposing counsel for underhanded tricks, on the Judge if you are biased toward the other side, on the jurors for “not getting hired,” on the trial team if you are inefficient, or on themselves. My friend, however, simply assessed his work, found out what was missing, and was rarin’ to go on another trial – so he could yet again, win.

All it took was a shift in perception, what Marianne Williamson* defines as “a miracle.” Or, to my way of thinking, a shift in perception (how you start to see the loss) lays the groundwork for a miracle, for something to take place which is much better than what was expected. By moving off the blame-game, and choosing instead to master from the ability (the shift in perception), my friend put himself back on the success track.

Whenever you look at your loss, whatever it is, as permanent and all-encompassing, then sure enough, you’ll feel devastated and struggling to release and move on. If, on the contrary, you appear at your loss – be it the increased loss of a job, a spouse, a customer, your savings – as temporary, something to master from – then odds are excellent that you will have a way to maneuver onto even better things; to a “miracle.”

The sole change is in the manner in which you perceive the event, the loss. And that, unlike losing itself, is totally within your control. Buck against it though we might, we can always control what we think. No, it’s not necessarily easy. I find it will take considerable effort to maneuver my thoughts off the comfort of wound-licking and self-pity to thoughts which will generate an improved future. But it’s doable.